Friday, August 20, 2010

How do you choose between your ex lover and your husband when you love them both?

I have been married for 3 years, I have a 4 year old son with my husband. I have an ex, recently came back into my life. He wants me to leave my usband and be with him. My husband works hard and I know he loves me even though he never shows it. We fight alot, he slept with one of my friends and then hid it from me for 3 months, now she's pregnant and I don't know if its his, there is a week and half difference in time. I am trying to forgive him but I can't get over what he did. My ex came back into my life, but I don't hear from him until he calls and I can't reach him when I need someone to talk to. What we had was hard, it is a difference in location that tore us apart. But I feel there is something he is hiding to. Can anyone help me?How do you choose between your ex lover and your husband when you love them both?
Sounds like you can really pick the winners there. Too bad for your child. My advice would be that you get away from all of them and restart your life with your child the best you can.How do you choose between your ex lover and your husband when you love them both?
Move to Salt Lake City, UT, and marry them both. So that way nobody gets hurt.

Threesomes anyone?
Yea, like the fact of his being committed or married to somebody else. You are married, and no matter what your husband has done, until you get a divorce, you are cheating and need to get your act together. You are doing tit for tat and that won't solve anything with your marriage. So, as far as forgiving your husband, he may have that same issue to contend with if he ever finds out about what you are doing. Leave the so call lover alone, and work on your marriage if you want to keep your family. You are only a b___y call to him anyway from what you've said.
And you wonder why the divorce rate is so high in the world.

So, you think your husband cheated on you with one of your friends, right? Was this before or after your ex popped back into the picture?

It sounds like you were too young to get married in the first place, and have no clue what love or a marriage is all about. I'm sorry if this is point blank and direct, but there is no way for me to tap dance around this one.

Your ex is an ex for a reason. Stick by that. It only sounds like a booty call to me. But, if you really, really, really have to be with him, then leave your husband.

Go do the easiest thing in the world and walk away from your problems and responsibilities. Why not, everyone else in the world does, right?

You never said in your question that you love you husband. I think what you didn't say speaks louder than what you did say.

Do what you want. Just remember that you have to live with that decision.
Forget both of them. There are alot of nice guys out there. What you have to do is focus on loving yourself and being happy by yourself. Give yourself some time apart from both of them. You need to find yourself.
well hrm.. i was already to say.. dont' marriage vows mean anything anymore??

but then you said your husband cheated on you...

doesn't sound like your relatioship with your husband is very good at all.. maybe its time to re look at that. .. see if something you can work on..

but i don't think you should leave your husband for this other guy.. maybe some time on your own will help you out..
you choose your husband because you married him and made a vow to forsake all others.
Both relationships sound pretty crappy- And after what your husband did, if you can not forgive him (never bring it up again, be able to trust him again) then leave. He also sounds borderline abusive, and the ex, might just be pursing something that is familar, keeping you strung around until he has some thing else come through.
Wow, this sounds complicated. This is what I would do if I were in your situation. I would leave your current husband...marriage is a sacred vow between two people, cheating just is not accepted...then I would spend some time alone to focus on my life and spend time with my child and get back on my feet....if your ex really loves you, they will come back into your life, if not, then you are better off w/out the both of them!! I'm sorry you are going through this, time will heal your heart :)
boyfriend is mostlikely involved or has a wife, thats why u can't get ahold of him. husband also has betrayed your trust. u know the devil u got, but u don't know what is going on with the ex, suppose u do leave hubby for ex, feeling justified because of hubby's cheating. but than what if all isn't as u think it is with ex, than you are really in a mess. i would stay with hubby, and give him a chance, maybe go for some counciling. ex is hiding things, and u know when someone can't be reached that they have a secret about why, that there is mostlikely another woman involved.
you're married now. stay with your husband. you need to forgive him. probably not exactly what you want to hear but you guys need to work things out. you can't help who you are attracted to but you choose who you love. there is no excuse for cheating. you also have a child-- your life is no longer your own.
At this point you need to leave both ALONE.....your husband sounds trifling, and your ex sounds sneaky....find a new man PRONTO

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