Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to win a custody battle when your ex is pushing the issue of mother having bipolar?

My daughter has bipolar but has been a single mom to three shildren since they were born. Ages 3 1/2, 4 1/2 and newborn. The father has been in and out of their lives since they beginning. They got married last year and split up again after 3 months. He always tries to upset her and make her angry then calls the police and says she is a danger to her children (bipolar). She is breast feeding and can't take meds and is not a danger. She has provided a home, clothes, takes to doctors appts, school, etc. He doesn't even keep a job. He took the kids and filed for a divorce then they reconciled for a few months which made his custody papers null. He used them anyway and took the kids. Now we are going to court. I don't know what he has up his sleeve now but his mom has everything to do with it because he is unable to do anything on his own. He has a 14 year old that his mom raises and another somewhere else. He doesn't even pay support. Do you think we will win in court?How to win a custody battle when your ex is pushing the issue of mother having bipolar?
Your daughter has provided for those children their whole lives and he has not. She has provided a home for them on her own, he can not do that. If she is doing fine without her meds right now and is not a danger your daughter should volunteer for a phsyc evolution. That will put that to rest. She needs to stay away from this guy if he gets her upset. Not to be rude but your daughter needs to stop having children with such a moron.How to win a custody battle when your ex is pushing the issue of mother having bipolar?
you need a good attorney but i would also find and print out everything you can find on the internet about bi-polar people who are fully functional - there are many who are. If he hasn't kept a job I suspect that he has not been making the child support payments so take proof of that to court along with any documents regarding her involvement in the day to day life of the children - doctor bills and the like. With those things and a good attorney I would think that you would have no problems in court.
If you tell the judge all that you put here, you have a good chance to win.
I would have as many witness you can that can tell the judge how she does with her children like taken care of them how she interactes with them and anything you could find to prove she is stable and tell the judge exactly everything be truthful with them and there see the real you good luck
You should really post this in the legal category if you want a solid answer based on legalities instead of just opinion. I'm thinking that she probably is going to have to get on the meds in order to have a shot. She can get on Craig's or even here in the parenting section and ask for more info on breast-milk sharing programs - there are ways to get breast milk for babies from other moms. I'd also be sure that she's getting regular care for her disease - not just to win the case, but for the good of herself and her children.

Someone with bipolar really IS a danger if left untreated. I'm not saying she's an unfit parent or a bad person, but she DOES have a disease. Ignoring it or claiming it has no effect on her behavior is irresponsible and will cost you points in court. She needs to get back on the meds - the judge will order this as well, even just for visitation rights. Good luck.
I dont think unless she was truely endangering the childrens lives that they would take them from her, mental illness or not. BUT if she is, as great as breastfeeding is, she needs to quit to get that under control with meds. If she shows that she is being treated for bipolar disorder, then... not much he could probably do.
First off, custody cases are alot easier to win and prove points when you have a lawyer, but sometimes people can't afford them. In some states they have free legal advice, just go to the court house. They should have a set time that the free lawyer will be there and can help you on your motion or on a responses to a motion he might file.

If he has had custody before, that doesn't mean that you or your daughter will never have the chance to have custody, not at all that does not mean that. That just means that ';at that time'; that was in the best interest of the kids, even if you or him disagree, what the judge say's goes. Even if we don't like it. Unfortunately I have seen cases that kids get put in ABUSIVE homes and the judge for some reason dont care.

I don't think she will have a problem but tell her to ';Expect'; for joint custody. Judges do not like giving sole custody unless one parent is a danger to the children.

If she ';is'; bi-polar, i would suggest doing forumla, and getting her on medicine. She also needs to document when he calls and harrass her. Unfortunately you can't do to much with the cops but it will work in court. The judge might just tell him that he needs to grow up and stop acting like a child.
have documentaion and affidavits of friends neighbors co workers of your daughters stating that she is a good mother to her children then the court has to do what is in the best interest of the child
The mother (your daughter) needs to get on her meds to win in court. It sucks, but it's true. If he has gotten custody once, he will win again unless she can prove she is the better parent. I know breast feeding is importnant, but keeping your children is even more important.

Once she is on her meds again, just gather all the evidence against him that you can... the fact that he hasn't been around, can't keep a job etc... should make her the parent. Not him. Good luck with the battle, hopefully the kids won't remember all this!
Bipolar is a genetic disease. If your daughter knew that she was bipolar before she had any of her children, then your daughter is immoral. Bipolar people lack serious judgment. If you can, you should be fighting for custody of your grandchildren.
i think you have a good fighting chance

just tell your daughter that she needs to keep a clean plate..and document everything such as doc appts., shcool meetings, etc....

good luck
All you can do is play the hand that was dealt... She sounds like a great mom, provides and takes care of her children. The court will look at those things. The judge will look at things like stability and the best arrangement for the kids. It may be joint legal with her as the primary parent. Meaning the kids would live with her, and he would get a visitation schedule. All you can do is talk to a lawyer, put out the good and the bad, so the lawyer is fully informed. Good luck to you!

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