Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I'm in serious need of advice...please...?

I just got out of a ';unhealthy relationship'; I guess you can say. First he broke up with me, then I broke up with him %26amp; told him I think it would be best if we didn't talk for least until were over each other you know? He took it rough. He acted all crazy saying how much he loves me, how he can't live with out me, %26amp; how he wont love again...It's been about a month and a half %26amp; we still haven't talked...I found out about 3/4 weeks ago that he found himself another girl with like a week after we broke up. I honestly was happy for him, then again it did suck you know? He was my first love %26amp; well you know? but I was happy for him. I've found myself someone as well, he's smart, gorgous, %26amp; all around a nice guy. I really like him but..for some reason these past few days I can't stop thinking of my ex boyfriend? I think back on all the good times we had %26amp; well I miss him like crazy. I do. Question is...Is it normal to want to be with your ex even tho your with another?I'm in serious need of advice...please...?
Before you get serious about someone else, be comfortable in your own skin. Hang out with friends and family, and learn to love yourself first. It's so easy to just remember the good times and forget all the bad, and that's ok. Just remember that in all relationships, there are good and bad times. Some times when you break up, you get really down on yourself. Life is full of joy and hurts. You will never be ready to love someone until you can love yourself. When you look in the mirror, you have to be able to say-';I am a great person, and I deserve a great person to love me.'; I have found that the person we will love the most is not always the one we thought it would be. Take your time. First loves are not last loves. The love doesn't end even if the relationship does. Learn from it. Good LuckI'm in serious need of advice...please...?
This is what you start getting into you. And I agree with Donna, the worst thing to do is to get into another relationship right away. Break it off with the other guy, he's just going to have to understand. If you don't, you will find yourself in the same situation or worse.

You need to exercise, read a great book, hang out with friends, write your feelings in a journal, and anything and everything that interest you. One ,it will keep your mind occupied and not thinking of him; two, these things will begin to fill you with joy, contentment and renew your self-esteem. You will no longer feel that you need him to give you these things.

This is key too, when your mind starts to think of the good times, begin to picture in your mind the worst that he has ever done and think of the greatest pain that he has caused you and your desire to go back to him will go away.

Recall to your mind what happened to cause you to break up. Reliving the pain that he caused you is a great tool to use and you will get over him sooner than you think.

Oh yeah, I've been in the same situation lots of times and I learned that technique along the way, it works.

One last thing... Have you heard of EFT? It's called Emotional Freedom Technique. It's great! Below is a link that will give you some additional information. Use this too, it will help you get over him.

Stay Blessed and Good Luck!
i think it just might b that u got into another relationship b4 u were completely over ur ex n it's taking a toll on u n ur guy. try t take things slow with this new guy n learn t appreciate him as time goes on. stop thinkin bout ur ex n leave him in th past where he belongs. best of luck
Well, you probably won't like my answer much, but the truth is, I think a lot of us rush into relationship after relationship way too quickly, without really giving ourselves time to get 'over' the last one.

You've broken up with this guy about six weeks ago, and you're already quite serious about another guy ... imo, it's just that it's too soon.

You don't say how long you were with your ex, but he was your first love, that's going to have a big impact.

It takes a while to get over these things, plus there is that human tendency to remember everything with rose coloured glasses ~ you say yourself it's the good things you remember, but if it was all good, you'd still be together, right?

It was the NOT good stuff that you're forgetting about that drove you apart ... but that's humans, we forget pain much quicker than happiness.

To get over it, all you really need is some time, and having some just fun with friends, rather than serious dating right up.

Your new guy sounds nice, and if he likes you he'll agree to tone it down for a few months while you get your head together ... after all, I'm sure he'd prefer it if you were with him in your head when you are together!

Have a cry about the ex, have some good times doing silly stuff with friends, get over him, and then move on, when you are ready. There's no magic formula, everyone's different!

Good luck and best wishes :-)
your situation is a classic next in-line situation. Your ex-bf did things that you miss and these causes you to think about him. Your ex was a good bf (not personally but as a good manipulator) if he is able to keep you missing him. Nonetheless, that is over and eventhough it is normal to think that way, it is not right because you are with another person. This new person may not do the same things but I believe he has his good points also. Learn to appreciate what he does (that your ex doesn't do) and try to encourage him more to do special things for you. Help him but discreetly insinuating ideas into his mind, things that you would want him to do and when he does that, then you will slowly change your mindset. Never compare coz everyone has their weak and good points. The important thing is that you deserve to be loved and right now, the guy with you is the one who can do that.
I'm sorry to say but in this situation time is the only real answer. Just relax and enjoy your current bf and with time the two of you will create your own ';good'; memories that will make you smile when you think of them. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel because I know for a fact that everyday you put inbetween your current relationship and your old one it becomes easier to forget and you WILL eventually go weeks or even months at a time without thinking about 'ole what'shisname. Promise. Just give it time.
Well if he is ur first love u probably will never completely get over him, in fact if ur current relationship doesnt work out u and he will most likely get back together again. It happens a lot. One reason for this is that first love for girls are always very deep and emotional as they usually hide nothing and gave nearly everything to the guy they first like. However, this usually ends with the girl's heart broken in a horrible fashion.

You will probably be less and less disillusioned about the concept of love as time progresses, and it is only natrual for u to look back on the first time u expereinced what u beleive to be true love. The best thing u can do is to simply create happy memories with ur current bf, and look at things in a more objective light.
you will get over this when you eventually GROW UP.

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