Wednesday, August 18, 2010

If you sometimes get upset about your previous broken heart..does it mean you're not over your ex?

I still get upset about how my ex mistreated me and how I didn't deserve it. He didn't do anything too terrible but sometimes when I think about it I just get so frustrated at how I let that happen and how he did that to me. Even little things that happened at the time, I look back at it now and I get upset with both myself and my ex. I thought you're not supposed to hurt your loved ones. He hurt me and I start thinking if he ever did love me or if he just fell out of love. Anyways, I wasn't a wreck when we broke up and was actually doing fine, but I still thought about him 24/7 and cried at times.

Now I don't think of him much and have things on track. I just want to know that if you still get upset at times about how your ex treated you .. does it mean you're not over your ex or what ?If you sometimes get upset about your previous broken heart..does it mean you're not over your ex?
You're over your ex but you're not over how he treated you. You need some sort of closure for yourself, even if all you do is figure out how to reason it out in your mind.

He was unfair and hurtful, and you didn't deserve it. You need to deal with that part before you move on.If you sometimes get upset about your previous broken heart..does it mean you're not over your ex?
I don't think that means that you are not over your ex.. but I do think you have not allowed your scars to are torturing yourself by continuing to remind yourself of the pain... He is somewhere doing what he does and you are still digging in your wounds.... Close that chapter... if anything take that hurt and make it to where it makes you as a person stronger and more aware on what you deserve.
Hi i am sorry about your hurtful breakup.. hugs Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if it sometimes seems as if there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while, but if the relationship was not what both you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this case, better sooner than later. Thinking about the reasons why it ended can make it much clearer to you that it takes two people to start a relationship, but just one discordant person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid many missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship. Keep your space. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages and no IMs - not necessarily as a permanent measure, but until you feel that you can converse with him/her on a purely platonic level, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. If you're reliving the past by seeing him/her, it's not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let go again. You may have to have some contact in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc., but try to limit this to what's absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings short and civil. 4Cope with the pain appropriately. It's okay to feel like you have messed up - accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes. Of course, a stage of denial is completely natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to start moving on.5Deal with the 'hate phase'. This is when you want to just scream because your rage feels boundless. The amount of anger you feel depends on how antagonistic the split was, the circumstances, and how long it took to make the final break. You may resent your ex for wasting your time. You may realize that the breakup was inevitable (hindsight will reveal clues you failed to notice at the time). You may even feel a lot of anger towards yourself, but let go of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time and energy to rip yourself apart over something you no longer have the power to change. There are so many positive things you can do with your emotions and energy.6Talk to your friends. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you in a comforting net. But be wary of friends trying to connect you with another person right now, this is not what you need.7Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to understand valuable life lessons from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.8Make a list of reminders. One of the best tricks to help you stick to your resolve is to make a list of all the reasons your ex was not the one for you. Be ruthless and clear -- this is not the time to be forgiving. What you're doing is creating a picture for yourself that will call up an emotional response when you feel tempted to think that ';maybe if you just did this or that, it would work out...'; Write down what happened and how it made you feel, being clear about the things you never want to feel again. When you find yourself missing your ex in a weak moment, and think you might actually be getting too close to the telephone, get out this list, read it over a couple times, and then talk to yourself, ';This is the truth of what it was like. Why would I want to go back and torture myself again?'; If you're caught in a low-self-esteem trap, thinking you don't deserve better, imagine this happening to a friend of yours, an

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