Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How does your ex having more kids affect your child support case?

I just found out my ex-husband is having a baby with his girlfriend. We were married for 12 years and have 4 kids together our divorce was final in April of 2006. The case is in the state of Minnesota, I would think that his prior children come first.

I am worried about how the kids will react to the situation when they are with their dad, they come back and tell me that all he cares about is his girlfriend and I'm worried that will be even worse when the two of them have their own child.

I cannot have any more kids. How do I protect them from being hurt by their dad's insensitivity? My ex is very angry with me for divorcing him. He takes me back to Court every time he gets mad. His only priority is money %26amp; how much it costs him every month. He changes jobs and doesn't self pay support, it is withheld from his check or I wouldn't get it. He makes very good money, he never even asked for custody of the kids during the divorce. When he has the time he doesn't spend it with them.How does your ex having more kids affect your child support case?
every state is different (slightly) with child support guidelines, but basically its this.. having more babies when you claim you cant afford child support reflects badly on him.

i too have 4 children and my ex tried that too. the judge just told him what i just typed (haha), but thats in NJ.

it goes by parents incomes and number of children (on the support order, NOT everyones new children).

here are some links; one is a calculator; just click on your state and fill it in (notice how they dont ask for his expenses-shouldnt have more babies if you cant even afford what you have). the last few links are to help you.

stay strong and stand your ground. :)鈥?/a>鈥?/a>鈥?/a>鈥?/a>鈥?/a>鈥?/a>鈥?/a> does your ex having more kids affect your child support case?
As far as I know...there are guidelines and your case will not change at all. Even if him and this new girl were to split and she were to take him for support... they look at what he makes... how many he has to support in that case (not yours) and that's what he has to pay.

As far as protecting the kids. The best thing you can do is be their mom. # 1 rule no matter how much u want to. Don't badmouth their dad in front of them. They will soon enough learn his true colors on their own. Its hard but bite your tongue and love the babies you have.

Best of luck
your ex having another kid is non of your concern, once your divorced your relation ship is just a business transaction to most guys,so yea money matters,but luckily for you the courts don't care about how many kids the man has they will be happy to continue to bleed him dry for you,
No your kids do not come first. Any children he has will all have to share his income. That means you lose a fraction of the support you claim. You do not get to control his life.
Your ex sounds like a real jerk. It must be so painful for you and your kids. Men just don't get it. They can't seem to comprehend that just because you get divorced that doesn't mean you can forget about your kids. You have to be mom and dad. Lots of single parents raise kids by themselves these days. You can do it too. Try seeing if he would like to give up his visitation. That way your kids won't have to feel bad every time they go. If not, then all I can say is try taking them to counseling and talk to them a lot and let them know you're there for them. Don't ever talk bad about him, to them That is a no-no.
This is the way ex's are. The only thing that can happen in regards to him having a new child is that they can take that into account and lower his child support. Your kids will be very upset and angry when this baby is born. Unfortunately it takes men forever to grow up most of the time. The older the kids get the more they will start taking their anger out on him. Just be there for the kids and try to pick up the pieces when it happens.
Unfortunately ex's can be jerks when it comes to learning how to divide their time with their ';first'; set of kids and any kids that follow soon after (including step children as i am currently finding out!).

As for the child support itself - his obligation is to YOUR kids first as they were born first - he could have 10 more kids and it would NOT affect what he is to pay for your four.
I don't think his new baby will influence the support all that much, if anything. I also don't think the judge is going to look kindly that your ex is not married and continuing to have kids....

Let me also say, there is nothing you can do to protect the children from the father's feelings for his girlfriend. If he truly loves her he will marry her. If things work out, great, they will for you too someday. I know it's devastating. Just tell your kids you love them, and that's really all you can do. Try not to badmouth him to the kids because he is still their father even though it may be hard for you to accept the fact that he left and is moving on. Just don't get locked in the past. Look forward to your future and put things in God's hands.

No comments:

Post a Comment