Monday, August 16, 2010

How many of you have gotten back with an ex after a breakup ?

My ex and I broke up about 7 weeks ago, basically we both needed a break. We had a lot of miscommunications and he did make some pretty big mistakes as well (lies, overindulgence in alcohol, etc..) We did both have a lot of love for each other, sex and attraction were never problems. Mostly just not seeing eye to eye.

From the few communications we have had since then, it would seem that he is starting to feel a lot of regrets and does still have very strong feelings for me. He has even been apologizing a lot for the things that went wrong.

I do know he was starting to see some one else (may still be), and I get the impression that it was just a random meeting after the break up and it might just be for the sex?). I don't know if it's any thing serious, maybe it was a rebound thing ?

I won't be the one, however, who goes to him for any reconciliation. He really did do most of the harm that ended our relationship.

I'm just curious if he were really serious about missing me, etc, then why has he not asked to meet me in person. Maybe he is just keeping me on an emotional leash in case it doesn't work out with the new girl ?

A back up plan, if you will.

How many of you had relationships end, and then reconciled with your ex, maybe even being a stronger couple later as a result ? I'm not waiting around for him, I have been casually dating, going out, etc..

Just want to know how often people do get back together after a break up, and, if it was even better after you both learned from mistakes, etc..

I think he may be starting to see that the ';grass is not greener';, and having second thoughts.

I would love some insightful answers. Thanks

How many of you have gotten back with an ex after a breakup ?
never once it's over it's overHow many of you have gotten back with an ex after a breakup ?
Many people do try to get back together with an ex after a breakup.

Generally speaking, however, it's a bad idea because the issues that caused the split are almost always still there.
Once a relationship is over it's all over for me. I just enjoy my life until the next great guy comes along. But now that I'm married life is pretty good these days.
I think it could definitely work. As long as you both look forward in your relationship and start anew. No rehashing the bad times...ever.
i should be more like #1 and when im done im done but every single boyfriend ive had ive gotten back together with. ya i cant ever make up my mind
I think almost every long term couple has at least split up once or came very, very close. Sometimes you need a break to see things clearly. He is probably seeing someone else to see what else it out there. If your relationship is strong he will see that there is no one better than you and come back.

But, if you want to get back with him you should keep the lines of communication open. Tell him that you want to be friends and suggest that you two get together as friends. That's how my ex and I got back together. We both felt that the connection was still strong-we've been together over 3 years now and are about to get married. He's my best friend and the best guy for me. He's not perfect, but neither am I. Relationships take work in order to make them work and you have to know that sometimes you partner will do things you don't like or agree with.
I was together with my ex for 4 years (all of high school) and then we had a big breakup. After dating like 10 guys in three months, I decided that he was the best that was out there after all. So I gave him another chance. After a year, it was very clear that we just weren't meant to be, so I had to break up with him again. And that last year was costly. I don't have any regrets about our first four years, but that last year is probably my only big regret of my whole life.

(I stayed an innocent virgin during high school, but that last year we did some experimenting with pretty much everything BUT-so still came to my wedding day a virgin, but my husband had only ever kissed before, so I think he felt a little bummed about my ';past';....)

Usually, the reason you broke up in the first place resurfaces.
i got back with an ex, and the relationship wasn't very good.

he cheated on me, and then awhile later apologized, saying ';he forgot he was dating two people.';

so i've learned not to get back together with exes.

even though he is very good-looking.

anyway, i'd suggest that if he comes back, and wants to get back together with you again, don't, because it probably won't work out.

you'll probably be fine for a couple of days, maybe a week, and then you'll probably start fighting again.

hope this helped! :)
Honey, relationships that end, end for a reason. Sorry, but that's the truth, and I had to learn that the hard way. Before I met my husband, I was in a relationship for three years. Things started off great. We were so in love, and so inseparable. For the first year things were great. Then he proposed. I wasn't looking for it, but when he asked me I said yes. When his family found out about the engagement, everything changed. They started putting ideas into his head like I had pressured him into it, I was controlling, I was manipulative, etc. Which, of course, I'm not, and I was never looking for a proposal because I was young and in college at the time. But he started to believe these things and it just reflected in our relationship. We went to the same college, but he lived in NJ and I lived in PA. He had a really good job in PA during the school year, but he had a crappy job in NJ over the summer. He was whining to be about missing his job over the summer, so I offered to let him move in. He practically jumped at the chance, but later quit his job for no reason, then turned it around on me, acting like I had forced him to move on. I didn't, I just offered and he said okay. We'd only ever had one conversation about it and he acted like I had nagged him about it for months. Basically he just started nit picking, getting unhappy, constantly hearing those things from his family. Nothing I could do was good enough or right for him and it was just frustrating me all over a ring I never even asked for! Eventually we split up and he moved back to NJ suddenly (I use break up loosely, he actually just left town without a word). I was heart broken and upset but a few months later he started contacting me. He had heard about how well I was doing now and I guess he felt jealous that he wasn't part of the action. We started talking, and we started working things out. He really seemed to wise up to the fact that his parents were becoming real issues in tearing us apart. In fact, throughout us talking again, his parents were constantly sticking their nose in, forbidding us to talk to each other, etc. It was really infuriating. He begged me to take him back, but I told him that the only way I could was if we had a real chance, and that his situation with his family made us stand no chance. I wanted him to just stand up to his parents and tell them the truth about the situation, that I hadn't forced or controlled or manipulated him into anything. They didn't agree with him proposing, so they always wanted to blame it on me rather than him (they looked at him like the golden child and nothing was ever good enough for him) and he went along with it. I told him he needed to set them straight and to get them to stop treating me badly. He said he couldn't do that because he really just wanted to cut them out of his life. I thought he should just stand up for himself, but he said he wanted to move back in with me in PA as soon as possible. Six months went by, he never corrected what his parents thought, he never moved out, never did so much as anything. This time, I WAS nagging him about it, because that was the one thing I needed when we got back together. He couldn't even do that. I finally realized that its just the same old, same old. Just because he misses you doesn't mean he will change. If he wouldn't change for you the first time, he won't change the second time, either. It was a hard lesson to be learned, and it wasted six months of my life, but I'm glad I learned it. After that, I broke it off with him, I finally stopped loving him, and a few weeks later, I started dating my now husband.

Trust me when I say this, ex's are ex's for a reason. It didn't work out for a reason. Even if you can magically both ';become all better'; the fact is, all of those past feelings don't go away. From being together, from being apart, etc. I got back together with him, but I never truly forgave him for what he did, what he did while we were apart (nothing with other girls, but still things hurt), etc. And I never trusted him, either. Its just too much to realistically overcome. You can give me that ';love overcomes all'; fairy tale crap, but love is more realistic than fairy tale like, and you'll learn how it works in time.

Sorry, but that's my answer.
My husband (then boyfriend) and I had a very rough first year after we decided to move in with each other. I was pregnant with our first kid, and it was just a terrible time. We broke up for over a year -- though because of our son, we saw each other regularly and became friends like we had been before we started dating. I actually dated another guy for a while, but it didn't go anywhere.

Eventually, we were able to talk about the problems we had when we were a couple, and we were able to work passed them. We got back together, cautiously! Several months later, we moved into a house together. Three years and a second child later, we decided we were going make it and got married.
If the other partner is not willing to talk person to person about their relationship it means they dont want to continue the relationship . Im a guy and if my wife wanted to stay with me and she tells me she loves me ect. then i'd be willing to work things out. But I think just maybe your man is straying away from you because he has found someone else only answer it could be Guys like attention, i sure do. Just tell him the drinking and other habits he may be having is effecting your relationship. My advice is tell him either go to counciling with you and try to reconcile the proper way or end the marriage. A one sided marriage is no marriage in my book. Good luck and god bless......
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