Monday, August 16, 2010

How to win a custody battle when your ex is pushing the issue of mother having bipolar?

My daughter has bipolar but has been a single mom to three shildren since they were born. Ages 3 1/2, 4 1/2 and newborn. The father has been in and out of their lives since they beginning. They got married last year and split up again after 3 months. He always tries to upset her and make her angry then calls the police and says she is a danger to her children (bipolar). She is breast feeding and can't take meds and is not a danger. She has provided a home, clothes, takes to doctors appts, school, etc. He doesn't even keep a job. He took the kids and filed for a divorce then they reconciled for a few months which made his custody papers null. He used them anyway and took the kids. Now we are going to court. I don't know what he has up his sleeve now but his mom has everything to do with it because he is unable to do anything on his own. He has a 14 year old that his mom raises and another somewhere else. He doesn't even pay support. Do you think we will win in court?How to win a custody battle when your ex is pushing the issue of mother having bipolar?
Get these:

1) A statment from her doctor (psychologist) that indicates that her condition is stable, that he does not believe she is a risk to the children.

2) A statement from her children's doctor that indicates that they are healthy (well fed, weight appropriate for age, no signs of neglect or abuse).

3) A statement from the preschool or daycare (if there is one) that says that the children are socializing normally, clean and appropriately dressed, fed and ready for school.

If the children appear to others (school, doctors, church members, neighbors) to be cared for, the fact that she is bipolar will have less weight.

If you solicit letters from others (don't bother with family members, as the court will see bias) -- ask them to describe those factors:

Clean - face, hair, body-odor, has been bathed regularly

Clothing - clean, appropriate for weather/activity (does he have a jacket and shoes on when it's cold? Do they fit?)

Social Skills - plays well with other children, shares, takes turns

Verbal Skills - uses language appropriate for his age (no baby talk, swearing)

Fed - weight appropriate, eats normally (underfed children will grab, hoard, etc.)

Healthy - no signs of abuse, no long-running colds

If she can present documentation that her children are REGULARLY seen in good shape, she has much better chances of winning.How to win a custody battle when your ex is pushing the issue of mother having bipolar?
I think so no matter if the mother has b-polar he can't take the kids without proof thats she unfit and it sounds like shes not. Anyways judges mostly see if the mother is raising the kids right the judge wants to see the kids with their mother. Anyways the judge will see that the dad is unfit with no job and no way to support the kids. So yeah i think the mother will win
I would say get her to stop breast feeding and start taking her meds. There is still a very bad stigma against mental illness. Unfortunately just because you say she is a good mother doesn't mean it true. Unless you are around her all the time you might not see her bad side. (that's if she doesn't live with you) She needs to have written proof from her doctor that she is stable enough to handle and raise children with her illness. Just make sure she is as stable and proper looking when she goes to court. Make her appearance impeccable. If she is Bipolar and is not on medication it can affect the children. They see and hear everything. The court will want to know she is on her medication and stabilized. Will you win in court ...Its hard to say. I think it a toss up. Good Luck
I think that the only way a mother could loose her children in court is with proof of GROSS negligence. And it sounds like your daughter is doing a great job, so I wouldn't worry. It sounds like her ex is just being a jerk and is trying to scare her. Don't let it get to you. Just be sure you have a good lawyer in case he decides to be stupid and go through with anything. But I woudn't worry...having worked minimally around law enforcement you have to be pretty abusive before the mother looses custody of her children.
The courts will not only look at her disorder but that she is being treated effectively. Since she is breastfeeding (3 1/2 year old or new baby??), she may need to ween the child in order to take the medications. I know she may want to breastfeed, but to keep her children, she may need to follow the prescribe treatment from her doctor. Having a disorder like Bipolar is not indicative of the parenting skills of the parent. They will also look at the most stable environment. Just make sure your daughter is in treatment and stays in treatment whether she is taking medication or not. Her doctor will be able to testify about her state of mind throughout the custody proceedings
You are going to have a tough time if he has been tricky enough to get your daughter worked up and then call the police. That means their are police records of her being unstable which will go a very long way in court to help him gain custody. You had better hire a really good lawyer, sorry to break it to you.
How do you expect an answer to your question when all you've posted here is third-party supposition?

This is a question YOUR DAUGHTER needs to ask her attorney based on a full review of factual (not emotional) issues.
just get a better lawyer than your x.

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