Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How did you feel when you seen your ex with someone new?

Quite long, but really appreciate your time %26amp; advice. It's been 1 year since I lost my own fight to love.

If you're in a better relationship now, does your ex ever cross your mind? Regardless of all the wrong, can your ex really change, even if it was her loss? In this case, I'm the one who needed to change, but don't know if I am on the right path.

Remembering all the mistakes that one makes whether in a relationship or not, all the lies told, games played, jealousy %26amp; drinking issues, controlling ways, vulnerability, basically all mistakes made, can one's ex really change for the better? It's true, you don't know what you have until it's gone, but what is the best piece of advice to finally take an action, when you know that whomever you lost, has already completely moved on to someone new/ a relationship that's better? Instead of dwelling on it for so many years, why does it take a person so long to take that first little step to change for the better? I said something to my ex out of anger 1 year ago, he moved on completely after 2 weeks, knowing we were involved almost 5 years prior. Instead of hoping I can have it all back, I am still having trouble moving on and beating myself up for it.

Why is it taking me so long to move on from a first love? If you know that someone you loved dearly, has moved on to a better and happier relationship with someone new, would you go back to what you and your ex once shared? I've heard the saying, if a man wants you, nothing can keep him away, if a man doesn't want you, nothing will make him stay. I am going to admit, I did everything and it was wrong on my end to possibly find out if my ex still felt the same way, but instead got rejected. We had a text conversation months ago, him texting me back, he ';doesn't know what he feel towards me,'; I gave in too much and still was very pushy and vulnerable. I showed him the same side of me that never changed- nagging and just plain vulnerable. After that, I learned he changed his number after our text conversation and never talked to him since, I couldn't. Cut all ties, he basically cut me out of his life. There was no way I was going to try to find out his new number, it would make me look even more stupid. I know I was insane for that, I made a huge mistake and felt guilty about it, but how am I supposed to apologize for the way I acted -- him changing his number is like basically telling my own self to keep moving on. Of course, it hurts to know that I once shared almost 5 years with this man, but I am pretty positive he's happier than he's ever been after being in a new relationship for almost a year and cutting me out of his life. I know he deserves to be happy, and it gets to hard on my end to truly be happy for him. He was my first love and the idea of being happy for him because he's happy with someone else, possibly his soulmate, is still in my head, it hurts. She is probably way better of a match I was to him and doesn't make the mistakes I did.I really thought I was going to end up with him, but I made bad choices, treated him as if I was the perfect one, took him for granted and everything, that is my main lesson up til this day, even after he's moved on and completely happy after more than a year.

Do you think I even run in his mind, even though I did him so wrong? How am I to ever forgive myself for this, especially the way it turned out, burning myself and playing with fire? How am I supposed to move on, knowing deep inside, I don't cross his mind at all? He never tried to contact me. The idea that there's something better out there for me, I just don't see it in that way, for it was my loss, and just don't know how or if I really want to move on, because I still think of him.

~miserable after 1 yearHow did you feel when you seen your ex with someone new?
Uhhh Anne -

You need to get a grip and you're gonna get a grip right now. Sounds like you need some ';tough love'; hun. And I'm gonna give it to you!!!

Okay, first of all, stop being so hard on yourself! So you made some mistakes with him - okay, we all do. BTW, it was very mature of you to even admit it. So forgive yourself and move on honey.

Second, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM, CUZ HE'S NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU! He has moved on. And so should you. The man changed his cell phone # for crying out loud! No one ever does that unless they ';for really tho'; don't want to be bothered. That alone, should make him completely undesirable to you.

Third, you seem to be hung up on the idea of this new woman being his soul mate. Honey, if she is, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. So STOP STRESSIN over that.

Alrighty then, that all being said....what can we do to make you start feeling better? Well, I recommend the 5 D's DELETE, DESTROY, DEVOUR, DOMINATE %26amp; DECIDE....Here goes.....

DELETE - him from all emails, facebooks, cell phones...etc. Trust me on this one - it will make you forget about his a ss quicker. Okay?

DESTROY - things that remind you of him. Have a ceremonial bonfire of sorts.

DEVOUR - some comfort food...ie....chocolate or icecream. (This is a one time thing) It'll take you out of your slump.

DOMINATE - the dating scene. Get someone else in your life!

DECIDE - to move on. Be a big gurrrl!!! Chin up!!!!

Okay, I'm done. If you need me email me. And Remember the last one - DECIDE for yourself to move on gurrrl. Okay hun? Let me know how it turns out.


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/advice_by_鈥?/a>How did you feel when you seen your ex with someone new?
i think you should get over it,

if he is happy, you should be to,

you cant chase some guy who doesnt love you anymore
I felt like I'm prettier and smarter!(then her) He is her problem now!

Time for you to do the same. Don't waist your presiouse time on that bum.
I read it all, twice. You've got the blues. I understand. I have to work on my house all day, but I'll be thinking of your story..and about writing a personalized BLUES SONG for you. I'll return in 10 hours or so......


Does he ever talk about himself and me, .....to his new love

'Bout the love and happiness that we once shared?

Do other faces remind him of me.....even sort of?

Without the memory of when my temper flared?

Oh, I forgot.....I suppose not.....He has moved on.

D'ja think he ever tries to call me....but then he doesn't?

And hangs up before the phone rings?

I hoped there would be a voice mail for me... ..but there wasn't.

He used to text me intimate things

It's been so long..... those days are gone....He has moved on.


Has his new love seen our old photographs?

The hard times we survived as well as all the laughs?

Does he know that even though his love for me is gone

I 've blamed myself all this time... and I can't move on?

Do you think I even run through his mind.... sometimes?

Even though I did him so wrong?

Those things I said were out of line,.... the fault is mine.

And now this burning loneliness won't leave me alone.

Then She came along......a new love song.....He has moved on.

Yeah I was wroooooooong......those days are gone.....He has....moved........on.
You should really try to focus on yourself right now instead of him. Focus on taking care of yourself. Find a hobby you love. I'm sorry, but it sounds like he's not coming back. That just means there's someone else out there for you. In the mean time really work on loving you. I know that sounds abstract, but fake it for now. I know this sounds cliche, but it's true, you really do have to love and take care of yourself before others can love you.
I think its funny as hell! She had it made when we were together and then one day she got a message from God to dump my *** and leave me for my best friend. She did and they were married. Now they are divorced and shes snooping around my family again and asking questions about me and my new wife. I told her once the divorce was final, it was final in many, many ways. I don't want to see her, talk to her, get any phone calls from her, It's over so stay out of my life you freeloader ex wife. She used me for 13 yrs and then dumps me when I became sick and couldn't work. Ask her to help out with the bills to support our family till I got better and so she did. She packed up all her and the childrens stuff and moved in with my best friend and then the both of them kicked his wife out of their house. And to make it all worse, she sued me for everything and child support and one. There's a special place in hell waiting for her right now. The problem is they don't want her either. At least they have morals in Hell. Amen Brother !!!
It's alright i understand your pain, and to be truthful nobody understands love. It'll give you chills of love and chills of sorrow, but the truth is that you have to call on something greater than what you felt. Which is the love of your father, and if you ever want to really see it, look out on a clear night at the stars, and understand that this life is so short and that even lonely you want to spend eternity in heaven. So find your father through jesus and he will rest your heart.

I promise.
I know how you feel. I had to move on after 12 years. Unfortunately, it does take time, but once you feel ready to start dating again, just do not compare every guy you date to him. That was my big mistake at first. Now I am happy, and found a guy that has none of my exs bad qualities, and a lot of good ones that he did not have.

You see, sometimes people are just not meant to be together, and they just stagnate in a relationship that is going nowhere, just because they are used to each other and at one time were so much in love. If it did not last, it was not meant to last. Just remember the right guy is still out there for you. Happy hunting!!!

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