Also need to add that we are 1300 miles away right now, i am not asking him to choose or anything like that. His family has always been trying to control his every move and now even with him gone in the Air force.How to get your ex back, when his family is trying to control him?
You're definitely right not to ask him to choose. His family is, and always will be, very important to him. What you need to do is show support. You don't mention specifically what you mean by ';trying to control his every move'; but make sure you don't phrase it that way to him.
Be there for him. There are things he can talk to you about that he can't talk to his family about. That's what will make the difference.