I dont even speak to my ex anymore, we were together for 4 years and he left me. I got a new boyfriend that is wonderful, we have been dating for 6 months so far and he is great. Well my ex sent me a message on myspace saying '; Wow we cant be friends, you dont even bother to contact me anymore, you most not be a smart person';. Well my thing is how can we be friends, its not right to be friends would you agree?Would you be friends with your ex?
I am friends with my ex.
I am friends with my late husband's ex too.Would you be friends with your ex?
I agree to a certain point. If you have no children together and you have moved on then there is no reason to be friends with him if you don't want to. However if you were married and have children together, you owe it to those children to get along with their father. It is best that way because it gives kids a sense of security and trust in both parents if they get along. No one says that you have to camp out in your exes living room and watch tv with him and the family but to be a friend and get along for the kids is great.
To your question in your last sentence, there is no reason for it to be wrong to be friends.
EDIT: I wish my ex husband wanted to be friends again. We were for a while but since he remarried 2 years ago his new wife will not allow it and because of this my kids from that marriage suffer.
having a ex for a friend can happen,but in some cases it shouldn't happen right away and from what it sound that would be you.I say this because your dating this new guy and im sure you ex got word you moved on,to me it sound like he wont's to see were he stands still in your life.Things must not be going so great for him,sound like to me he wasn't the smart person...lol / don't look back look forward
if you are considering talking with an ex who says ';wow you must not be a smart person';, you have a very low threshold of self-esteem.
sometimes people do talk with their ex once in a while, but if you have another relationship, then it's best to avoid all ex's and keep your focus in the here and now.... those old relationships are over.
no an ex to me represents the past and I am one to move forward and cut all ties. Your ex is jealous because you have moved on and wants to hang on to you for 2:00am sex. So just ignore him, tell him no you can't be friends, and cut all contact. Like the other answers have said its your choice be he friend or foe.
Delete him from your MySpace list (if he's on it)
And he's just trying to instigate you by saying 'You must not be a smart person'.
Don't fall for it.
To answer your question, No! I would not want to be and am not friends with my ex. He's sad and pathetic. And when I cut off contact with him after he dumped me he said, ' Why are you acting like an uneducated person?' LOL! IDIOT!
Some people you just can't be friends with. I have an ex that I can't stand, that's why I dumped him. But I'm also ';friends'; with my most recent ex though I have been in a serious relationship with someone else for over a year. So I guess it would depend on the people involved.
Say '; I am smarter than you think that's why I do not get in touch with
you - As a matter of fact I do not want to get in touch with you now know about you, so good bye '; -
And no, you don't have to be friends. Why should you ? How with your new friend react if he knew you were talking to your old ex ? it's stupid.
IM WITH MONDAY MONDAY....AN EX REPRESENTS THE PAST...MOVE FORWARD AND DONT LOOK BACK...HE IS AN EX 4 A REASON...AND AS I TYPE I AM READING THIS 4 MYSELF...MY EX EVEN THOUGH IN A RELATIONSHIP STILL REACHES OUT TO TEXT OR CLL ME AND I FALL 4 IT EVERYTIME...ONLY 4 HIM TO HURT ME WITH SAD CLLS AND TEXTS THAT GO NO WHERE...DON'T LET HIM PLAY WITH YOUR HEART...MOVE ON...FOCUS ON YOUR PRESENT...ANDLET THE PAST BE THE PAST..GOOD LUCK
I wouldn't and don't. Once I'm done that's it. It's too tempting for me, especially when I am having issues in my relationship. Sometimes when you are vulnerable, the grass looks greener.
If you don't want to be friends with your ex then that is your prerogative, sounds like he was just trying to get a rise out of you.
UNapprove %26amp; delete him on myspace. You don't need to be friends if you don't wish to. He was only a boyfriend, not your lifetime partner....
He said you must not be smart for not calling him? That is an ego.
I'd tell him to go away.
yes it's not right to be friends (feel awkward)
friends, no. Friendly and cordial yes.
First of all he is not a nice person if he is telling you you're not smart. If he was like that in your relationship I can see why you're not together. Sometimes people who genuinely like each other don't belong together romantically. When I remain friends with an ex I follow some common courtesy guidelines to keep things real:
1-Make sure the boundary is clear and that you understand his boundary. If he is involved with someone else be cognizant of the fact that that is a clear statement he doesn't want you that way. Act accordingly-if you can't you have no business being in this ';friendship';.
2-Respect his privacy. No really- RESPECT HIS PRIVACY!
3-Respect his new relationship- it is NOT cool to call excessively and pull helpless acts when your ex is in a new relationship. There isn't an intelligent independent woman over 25 who can't do things for herself. The helpless act is not attractive. If you are tempted to be manipulative and needy with him, in addition to that explaining why he's not with you anymore, you haven't moved on emotionally, and probably should honestly examine whether or not you are actually capable of being in a friendship with this ex. If you still want him back and it's clear he doesn't want you in his life in that way (if he's in a long term relationship with someone else it's pretty clear he doesn't want you back) you should bow out of the friendship gracefully as you will only cause stress for yourself and him.
4- Do not pretend to be friends with an ex who you want back who isn't interested- it would just be too weird and uncomfortable, mostly for you.
5-Clearly delineate between the PAST and the PRESENT. In the past you and your ex were together, in the PRESENT you and your ex are NOT. Again, act accordingly.
6- Respect his current partner. She is number one in his life now and you are not. If you find yourself being snarky with her, taking credit for his good points and abilities to her, attempting to exclude her from activities, and/or complaining if she calls him pet names you should not be friends with this ex because you still think it's about you. He has moved on...it's not about you anymore. It's unlikely you will move on while you remain ';friends'; with him while wanting more, so for your own sake, and to avoid appearing pathetic, you should limit your contact with him.
7-Don't throw your past with your ex in his current partner's face- that was then and this is now, and she is well aware of that even if you're not- doing so only makes you look stupid and desperate-which you kind of may be if you're hanging on to the past and not moving on with your own life.
8-Do not expect him to do boyfriend things for/with you. He is not your boyfriend/partner anymore. Find someone else to put your air conditioner in, be a big girl you'll feel better about yourself if you do.
9-If you are jealous of his partner do not pretend to be her friend. Chances are she's more than intelligent enough to see thorough your act and you will appear to be...well...stupid and desperate.
10-Move on with your life. Date, meet people, have fun. If you can't do this you should not be ';friends'; with this ex because you haven't moved on. In that case you should spare yourself the pain and humiliation of wanting someone who has clearly moved on and begun a life with someone else.